Our New Sex Book Is on Sale Now! Get in position. No matter how casual your cunnilingus encounter may be, the sex you’re having together deserves reverence and respect. The anticipation can really help bring you both into your bodies and feel grounded in this experience you’re sharing together. If your partner is on the kinkier side, try some dirty talk, spanking, or role play-whatever gets them in the mood. Then move down to their belly, inner thighs, and all around the vulva. Instead of diving head-first into someone’s vulva like an Olympic swimmer, opt for a seductive warm up. “Be vocal about appreciation for your partner's body-including their taste,” Smith says. If, however, your partner wants to try receiving oral sex but they’re nervous about having you get up close and personal with their genitals, offer some encouraging words. There are plenty of other ways you can enjoy each other’s bodies. If your partner says oral sex is off the table, then it’s off the table. “Some people are self-conscious about the smell, taste, and appearance of their vulva, and some people are uncomfortable with all the attention being on them,” explains sex educator Erica Smith.
So many cultural messages tell vulva owners that their genitals are “dirty” and that their vulvas have to look a certain way, and those messages can get in your partner’s head. They might not like the sensation of oral sex, or the idea of receiving oral sex might make them anxious. While oral sex is pleasurable for lots of people, not everyone with a vulva wants a partner’s face between their legs. These are the best oral sex tips for the next time you're going down on your partner. From incorporating toys, to trying different positions, to using your tongue in unique ways, we have all the expert-approved information you need to up your game. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve your oral sex technique, and communicating with your partner can make a big difference. If you’re still doing the alphabet with your tongue and calling it a day, then it’s time to brush upon your oral sex skills. The issue? So many people don’t know what the heck they are doing down there. Plus, a 2019 study found that couples who give and receive oral sex maintain happier, more sexually active relationships long-term. The rest require clitoral stimulation in order to climax, and oral sex puts the clitoris front and center. A 2017 study published in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that only 18% of vulva-owners can orgasm from penetration alone. In fact, oral sex is widely known as the most reliable way to make a person with a vulva orgasm. Eating out, cunnilingus, clit-licking: whatever you prefer to call it, oral sex on a vulva can be the perfect path to your partner’s big O.
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